Countdown to Thirty: Three Days

Three days left of my youth (ha! Just kidding), and I'm having a pretty good week so far. My grown-up goal for the day: recognize and appreciate myself as an artist, not just an administrator.

A year or so ago, when looking at my CV, one of my teaching-artists said, "You know, I think of you as an administrator, but you only have, like, two admin jobs on here. The rest of them are teaching or artistic." Well, yeah!

It's difficult sometimes to call myself an artist. Like so many other artists, I make my money with a day job--unlike so many other artists, my day job is actually in the arts, in my field, and I love it. Like so many other artists, I create, usually in collaboration with others--unlike so many other artists, my creations sometimes live in the worlds of research and criticism. I've found that as a dramaturg, it's hard to recognize myself as an artist sometimes, preferring instead the term "grown-up theatre geek." I have to recognize that what I do is, indeed, an art.

During the summer, my colleagues at work and I get to focus more on artistic pursuits, since there are so many actual student shows going up than during the school year. My party line is that it would be easier for me to go after a position if I were a director or a choreographer or something like that. I could say, "Hey, Guys and Dolls! I'd like to direct that!" or something to that effect, and get my artistic fulfillment that way. But I'm a writer, which is a bit harder to go after. Fortunately, I have the opportunity to write a script once a year, and I have a great time with it. I'm more than satisfied having an admin position if I also get that part of me fulfilled, and I recognize how lucky I am that I do get that.

Last night, I had a training session to become a script reader for a local company I love. This evening is my mid-semester observation for the Creative Drama class I teach. Tonight, I'm going to the dress rehearsal for a student show I dramaturged (and going to the closing night on my birthday). This weekend, I'll go to the most recent grown-up show I dramaturged. And through it all, I'll happily do my administrative work (which, being the spreadsheet queen I am, and getting to work at a theatre with some great people, I'm more than happy with). I do love what I do.